White Cake. White Icing.

Critique without care severs connection.

I attended a conference virtually a couple of weekends back. The actual conference took place in Bluefield, West Virginia. It was centered around Hope.

A couple of weeks removed, the three c’d sentence above feels like my biggest takeaway. But I'll put it away for now and let it re-enter our dialogue in its own time.

If you have any thoughts about it - feel free to respond. I’d love to hear them.

Pausing to ask some questions.

How are you? How was your week? How did you spend your time? Did you notice anything about how you spent your time? Who did you notice as you spent your time? Did any one person stick out to you particularly? Where did you spend your time?

One person stuck out to me particularly.

This week, I listened to a blind man spill details of the types of foxes found in the Ozark Region. He was brilliant, patient, and trusting. At the top of the stairs at a local shop here in Springfield, Missouri, he stood patiently. Waiting on onlookers to wander up the stairs and curiously ask about the fur in his hands. Then he shared. I am glad I stopped to listen to him. I’ll let you guess what shop that is.

One of the ways I’ve found to be most effective when reflecting on how I spend my time is through the lens of work, rest, and play.

Below are simple working definitions of these three words;

Rest | to cease work or movement aimed to perform & produce results in order to relax or refresh oneself and or recover strength.

Work | activity or tasks involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

Play | engage or take part in an activity for enjoyment or recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

I used to believe that in order to grow and be successful in this world, I needed to draw hard lines between the above three facets of how I spend my time. However, the more I engage with life on life’s terms, the more I notice the interconnectedness of them all.

Come on. I’ll tell you a bit more.

Work. Rest. Play

Here is an example of how these three facets of life hung out together this past weekend. It was Katherine’s birthday. She’s a real good friend of mine. Probably my best friend - but I am only admitting that here because my other best friend, Copper, can't read.....or at least I don't think he's able to. He might be sour if could read. He's sitting right beside me, asleep in a chair, as I write this.

Katherine’s birthday was coming up. I wanted to make Katherine’s day special. But not special for me, special for her. So I tapped into my mind's eye, put on a shower cap, and asked a couple of the questions that started with "If I was Katherine...."

....how would I want to spend my day?

....who would be there?

....what would we do or not do?

....would there be food? If so, what kind?

....what time of the day?

Then I responded as if I was Katherine…

Slow. I’d not really move urgently in any direction for anything. I’d want good coffee and probably pancakes.

Really. Anyone, well… whoever is able to make it. Whatever it is. Because I don’t really want it to be big deal. Maybe no one. Seriously, I don’t want it to be a big deal.

We would hang out. Chit chat. Play games. Talk about the things we enjoy, like antique chairs, the pretty little things that line your shelves and only function as pretty little things. Cake. yes, definitely cake. White cake, white icing, buttercream, to be exact. Books, yeah, we’d also talk about books.

There would be food. Did I mention cake… white cake, white icing. Also, we’d eat snacks. LOTS of snacks. Sweet ones and salty ones. Tonnnnss of snacky food. Oh my, I just love snacks. Pretzels, dips, fruit, pretzels, sparkly water. Maybe even an adult beverage with a hint of grapefruit.

It depends on the weather. If the sun is out and it is not frigid, outside would be ideal. Maybe we go for a walk, maybe we just sit and read. Yeah, that sounds ideal; outside, sit and read, potentially some games and TONS of snacks.

After I put on my Katherine Thinking Cap - I was able to visualize a bit more of what a good Katherine Honoring Day could look like.

Whew. I’m tired, I thought to myself. I need rest. It’s hard-working thinking like Katherine, but I do love ideation.

The work, was found in thinking like Katherine and the focus on figuring out the logistics necessary to make this day happen.

The play, was found in the wondering and brainstorming piece

Both are valuable practices used in the act of celebrating Katherine.

You see, I think we are complex human beings who work way too hard to compartmentalize these three simple words (work, rest, and play) as individual unconnected practices. Think: holding on tightly. 

I want to make the case that by viewing these terms objectively first, understanding them as practices second, and reflecting on them often, third - we grow in our awareness of the value of our time. Think: loosening the grip a bit.

• 1st | Identifying these terms objectively

• 2nd | Understanding that they are practices

• 3rd | Reflect on these terms as practices in our life often

See below for a few more examples of work, rest, and play.

Work

The past year or so, I spent some of my time writing for dlg.coach which is the business consulting firm I work with, and a lot of that writing was directed at a specific audience to achieve a specific purpose. That took energy from me, and I had to a lot of specific time for the pieces of that process.

A bit more practical:

Mowing my yard. Weed eating my grass. Folding clothes. Brushing my teeth - the longest two minutes of my day…..morning and afternoon, chill-out.

Rest

Over the past few years, I have gotten into trail running - don’t worry, I am not going to make the case for trail running as restful (although it could be explored). I will say in the midst of my mileage, picking up throughout my training, aimless walks around the neighborhood or really wherever have brought me great rest. It may be movement, but with no other purpose other than to be present in what is.

A bit more practical:

Watching a movie. Long Meals shared with friends. Reading a book (currently reading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott and Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson).

Play

This one has been tough for me over the past couple of years. For a few reasons, I’ve taken myself too seriously, wrestled with insecurities, and tried to push myself out of my comfort zone.

But lately, I’ve found the act of creation with words and ideas as a form of play for me. Making something out of nothing, taking verbalized ideas, and clarifying them succinctly with words have felt a lot like the objective definition of play stated above.

A bit more practical:

I am honestly still discovering that - I tend to enjoy the practice of play more with others than alone. I’m hopeful that more play will come as I loosen the grip.

Recently, my younger brother and sisters were in town - my youngest sister and I “put on a show” for the rest of the family to the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen and Never Enough from The Greatest Showman.

Anyways, wherever you are in your week - take a moment and reread the questions from above - I’ve inserted them below to save you a little time 😉 

How are you? How was your week? How did you spend your time? Did you notice anything about how you spent your time? Who did you notice as you spent your time? Did any one person stick out to you particularly? Where did you spend your time?

Read them aloud.

Jot something down if anything comes to mind.

Maybe even review the definitions of those three simple words you know so well.

Ask yourself; What do work, rest, and play look like in my life?

Keep pressing in.

May you be reminded of the sweetness of time and encouraged to reflect on how you spend it.

Thanks for being here; Talk again soon!

Thanks for being you.