The Morning Birds and Middle School Nicknames

Good Morning Friend Tyler Head Here.

Here’s a Theory I am testing:

I am convinced the number of accidental photos/screenshots you take on your phone directly correlates with your age.

As your age goes up, so does the number of accidental photos.

As I write you today (Thursday), I am tracking at 4 for 4 this week. Pictures include

1. Lock Screen

2. Random Phone call

3. Text messages in the early morning

4. Half of my breakfast, Copper’s face, and the floor

This is week six of writing publically - I am loving it and will continue to bring you along. I believe words are powerful and have the ability to cut to the core.

If you’re new, click here to read the kick-off.

I hope the throughline in my writing cuts to your core and invites you to wonder, “What would it look like in my life and in the lives of those nearest; If I made the intentional choice to practice being with and being be’d with?”

You may be thinking: “Tyler…. ahhhh, that sounds so touchy & feely, my goodness, and what does that even mean?”

Look, if we keep walking together, we can also find out together.

WE ALL ACHE for connection. It’s how we are wired. And in this cultural moment, I believe it takes intentional effort.

So come on, what do you have to lose - keep reading, & let’s keep exploring.

Pause.

I am getting feedback from some of my friends and family - who make up 99.9% of the readership - that they are not receiving this weekly writing at 7:00 am on Fridays.

So, will you help me out?

1. Can you reply "received" to this email?

Why do this?

Replying "received" tells your inbox to trust “Being With People” emails so that they won't end up in your spam folder.

One thing I’ve learned in my short 29 years on this earth is that people, all people are absolutely incredible. I stand by that statement wholeheartedly and fully conscious….. and I’ve spent much time with A LOT OF PEOPLE. Currently, that is how I get to spend the bulk of my time. To further prove the validity of my stance and the truth of my own ache for connection - I’ll take you back in time with me. In middle school, I was gifted a nickname. A nickname that stalked me through the hallways of Lascassas School. It was…..“ The Talking Head.” This was a play on my last name and my uncanny ability to chat with, chat at, and chat about. Listen, I was a real “Talking Head.” Curious like George and completely unwilling to relent in chatting about it.

In middle school, I believe I was learning one facet of connection or what I call the practice of “Being With and Being Be’d With." And you know, in 6th grade, I felt a little called out - partly because it was true, partly because I was probably scared of silence, and partly because I felt it carried a negative connotation.

I’ve learned a lot since then. However, sometimes I still feel that itch, the itch to fill silence with words. We’ve all been there…. either as a bystander or the filler of silence - and it doesn’t feel too good. Those moments are kind of like leaving a balloon hooked up to the water spicket a bit too long.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned more and more about another facet of “Being With & Being Be’d With.” A bit of balance to talking, and much more powerful when connecting with others.

Listening.

To listen and be listened to is an unrivaled gift. This I’ve come to know.

My good buddy Henri nails it as he describes the gift of listening below….

You see, 6th grade Tyler; talking is just a fraction of connection. Listening is another part. I’d venture to say a much larger part in the practice of “being with people”.

So, listening….. as a practice? How can we do that? What does it mean to practice listening?

Listen to what’s around you and record what you hear or what you don’t hear.

Here’s an example:

This week, my best bud Copper and I went on a walk in the wee hours of the morning. The noise we heard was deafeningly beautiful. Coming from all directions. Hundreds of birds conversing back and forth about their nights. As in, all through the night, no birds talked, and no birds listened, but upon a hint of sunlight - every bird in my neighborhood begins to chirp.

Some, much smarter than I, call it the Dawn Chorus.

Nevertheless, as we strolled, I couldn’t help but wonder what all these birds were chatting about. Chirping, singing, carrying tunes back and forth across streets, through busy intersections, from one tree to the next, nests built high up, or tucked in the scaffolding of your back porch.

Maybe the birds are on to something. Connecting with one another. Early in the morning. Checking in on their neighbor’s night sleep. Asking where the good worms could be found. Or when they might be headed farther south, north, east, or west. Or, possibly, what local area they plan to fly around and surprise some unsuspecting human being on the sidewalk with the previous night's dinner.

Really, who knows what they are chatting about?

All I know is they are unashamedly chatting early in the morning.

Call and response.

Talking and listening.

Two critical pieces of connection. The practice of “Being With and Being Be’d With”

We are human beings who ache to connect & I believe listening plays a large role.

Don’t take it from me, though. Try it for yourself.

The Practice

Take a walk outside early in the morning and listen.

or

Sit across the table from an old buddy or new one, and listen.

Curiously lean in and listen. When they finish, ask them to “Tell you more” and then settle in and listen some more.

May we be people who grow from being “Talking Heads” to the types of neighbors that check in with one another as soon as we wake up and share where the good worms could be found.

Thanks for stopping by. Talk again soon!

Thanks for being you!

PS. If you received this, don’t forget to respond with a simple received.

Thanks again!