The Power of a Strong Jab

Hey, Good Morning; it’s Tyler Head.

I missed writing to you all last week. We (me and Katherine) were traveling, and I needed to show up in other areas of life. Nevertheless, I am back, and it’s good to be with you through writing.

I love words. I really freaking love them. Two of my favorite words, just all around, written, defined, how they look, and even the letter combination, are courage and compassion.

I am not 100% on why, but I freaking love those words.

And I am willing to bet you embody both of these. I can see it through my keyboard.

Courage and compassion.

It’s inside of you, me, and We.

You can't stop the raging storm, but singing can change the hearts and spirits of the people who are together on that ship.

- Anne Lamotte, Bird by Bird

Recently I finished Bird by Bird by Anne Lamotte.

This book and its words were a deep encouragement for me - especially capping it by attending a virtual writing conference. In my own words, the big takeaway was this: much like this life, a day-by-day, moment-by-moment occurrence, when writing or using words, it's like painting a sky full of birds. Bird by bird. No more, no less.

This year I am pressing into the practice of writing and sharing my thoughts and ideas.

From paper to keyboard to screen to public feels like a HUGE process. I hope that it encourages courageous curiosity and cultivates compassionate conversations.

I started this year with the intent of learning more about the process of writing. During the first quarter, I read a few books on writing, words, and the gift they bring to the world.

With these three books highlighting the magnitude of written words on people, culture, and history, I grow increasingly convinced that this is a way in which I'd like to contribute to society during my lifetime.

To offer words of hope and encouragement. To bring forth light with a savory visceral combination of words. To express humbly and honestly with open hands the world through my eyes. To connect with the past and cultivate the future through active participation in the world around me.

My fear in continuing to take steps in this direction; is that I lose sight of the power of my words. I don't want to develop the habit of slinging words carelessly, leaving a wake much like a main street after a parade. For this reason alone, I've hesitated to share my comments, thoughts, and ideas outside my many journals.

Words are potent.

I watched Chris Rock's most recent stand-up that implicitly focuses on jabbing Will Smith. In this performance, he stated, "Those who say words hurt have never been punched in the face." For a moment, I chuckled at the image. Then, I chuckled again at the irony. It was his words that, a few months back, caused a literal hit in the face. Most of us probably heard or saw when Chris Rock made a jab with his words toward Will Smith, and Will Smith responded with a literal jab. Chris Rock continues in his stand-up to work his jabs into the words of his performance.

Which, I know, I know - Tyler, it's comedy; lighten up. But something highlighted itself to me as I thought more about this.

It was the potency of Chris Rock's words that elicited a response from another Will Smith. Human being to Human Being. This resulted in a physical interaction and, sometime later, another response with words - Chris Rock's most recent stand-up performance.

This further points to the power of our words.

Our words are potent.

Are we aware of the words we are using?

At home?

The workplace?

Our Communities?

With those who are different than us?

Do you remember words spoken towards you, at you, over you?

I know I do.

Both the ones that built up and the ones that tore down.

Have you ever taken an inventory, with the help of others, of how your words land with others?

If not, here’s a practice below for you and a friend to try.

If so, here’s a practice below for you and a friend to try.

The Practice

Here's an easy way to practice - for learning purposes only.

Sit with a close friend from home, work, or your community.

Invite them to brainstorm with you three recent and or common interactions.

Together, both of you can work to recall the situation - Think: the location, surroundings, sounds, smells, and subject matter of conversation.

Ask them what it was like to be with you in that conversation.

• What was my tonality like?

• If any, what particular words resonate? Hurt? Lift up? Tear down?

• How do you receive the words I used in that interaction?

• How do you remember that conversation going?

• What do you feel like leading up to? During? After?

• What about now? What does remembering this conversation bring up in you?

I believe we are courageous and compassionate human beings; I also believe that our words are potent.

May we be a people that, with courage and compassion, deepen our understanding of the power of our words and thus continue growing in our practice of being with and being be’d with.

May we be a people that use our words to change the hearts and spirits of those around us amid a raging storm.

Talk again soon!

Thanks for being you.

Just a reminder: If this provokes a response in you — feel free to type it out, send it over, and I’ll read it. Or type it out and save it for later.

Also, If you enjoyed this - copy the link, and share wherever you’d like!